1. |
I Appreciate You
04:02
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i’m not what you’re wanting me to be
farewell, my lovely
looks like Caligula’s about to fall
(i’m not what you wanted me to be)
if words didn’t break bones
why am i full of dust?
farewell, my lovely, i must go
blood on the steps
and the brass is blasting
and the heat is overwhelming
i’m coughing so damn much
my nostrils switch which is stuffed
it says so much about me that i still puff—
i said, ‘help me, help you’
i said ‘help me, help you, help me, help you’
i appreciate you
i appreciate you
i appreciate you for stopping by
take over direction of the stage
i don’t know where to hit my cue
am i late, off the clock?
wanna share a kiss in the trench
as we fight for the bread?
they shoot horses, don’t they?
(2-29-2020 and i don’t have medical)
spaceship out of here——
—hearing your words and misplacing
all their meaning is so like me
(half of my blood is Cain throwing stones
the other half is incapable of taste)
i said, ‘help me, help you’
i said ‘help me, help you, help me, help you’
($6.77 in my SquareCash app,
and i don’t know what direction to go)
you said, ‘help me, help you’
i appreciate you
you said, ‘help me, help you’
i appreciate you
you said, ‘help me, help you’
i appreciate you for stopping by
trimmed my beard
what an accomplishment
big boys don’t cry
even if they like guys
they all grow as old as you
i appreciate you
you said, ‘help me, help you’
i appreciate you
i appreciate you
you said, ‘help me, help you’
i appreciate you stopping by
i appreciate you
$6.77 in my SquareCash app
and i don’t know when to hit my cue
but i’m glad you stopped by
i appreciate you
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2. |
Mood Ring
03:34
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up in Kirkland
came from Rhode Island
still in my work uniform
but your mind is somewhere else
back to your apartment
so i guess i like you
still in my work uniform
not a dealbreaker?
holy fuck…
they got an army of wolves
in sheep clothing
dancing on the coals ’til they drop
-drop, carrying the basket to the front door
zig and zag, ying and yang
hot or cold, what does the mood ring say?
‘maybe tomorrow, i will smile and it’ll be real’
back to your apartment
so i guess i like you
still in my work uniform
not a dealbreaker?
holy fuck…
they got an army of wolves
in sheep clothing
dancing on the coals ’til they drop
-drop, carrying the basket to the front door
zig and zag, ying and yang
hot or cold, what does the mood ring say?
maybe tomorrow i’ll run a red
just to test if god wants me dead
i bet…
they got an army of wolves
in sheep clothing
dancing on the coals ’til they drop
-drop, carrying the basket to the front door
zig and zag, ying and yang
hot or cold, what does the mood ring say?
they got an army of wolves
in sheep clothing
dancing on the coals ’til they drop
-drop, carrying the basket to the front door
zig and zag, ying and yang
hot or cold, what does the mood ring say?
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3. |
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all of the stars in the sky
looking like they’re melting
like ice cream overflowing
from the edge of a cone
the moon looking like
it’s been eclipsed
the coffee stain on the coffee table
that we bought at IKEA back in ay—
back in ay—
tonight i’ll work hard for you
make you want to come—
—home
i’ll try even if it’s hard for me
making dues with the devil i’ve known
tricky, tricky sandman
coming on in at a stalemate
they’re bad and they’re ugly
but no way that i’m not outside looking in
given what you got all the way to the shoppette, amazing
born in the way of your ways on the way to the feeling
angel eyes
the bridges are broken and I don’t have anywhere to run
but i guess we don’t have to if we’ve nowhere to go, no cash flow
angel eyes
if the fever wasn’t psychological, if my thinking wasn’t so comical
would you feel safe?
i run to you disappointed again
i come to you, baby boy, i need you
the world is scary, my head is crazy
but i know that you can come on through
break me through
never meet me at 2 when i wanna ride
didn’t even think that you would cry
but i guess you grew up a little
given what you got all the way to the shoppette, amazing
born in the way of your ways on the way to the feeling
angel eyes
the bridges are broken and I don’t have anywhere to run
but i guess we don’t have to if we’ve nowhere to go, no cash flow
angel eyes
if the feeling wasn’t psychological, if my thinking wasn’t so comical
would you feel safe?
hard for you
make you want to never leave home
try even if it’s hard for me
making dues with the devils i’ve known
tricky, tricky
angel eyes
angel eyes
given what you got all the way to the shoppette, amazing
born in the way of your ways on the way to the feeling
given what you got all the way to the shoppette, amazing
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4. |
Field Day
03:22
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you made me potato soup
or beefy noodles, depending on my mood
i still remember the smell of your shampoo
i’m already feeling i’ve had enough
seven decades but you haven’t given up
never cease to stun me how you do what you do
and what you’ve done
heaven await when you cross my love
sounds depressing but it’s not my love
you told me all my life i would be alright
so even if things are not, i’m gonna try
easy to worry, easy to think you might not…
…make sense
shirt on my head
long black hair
bra on my chest
you didn’t care
you smiled
you grabbed the camera
so i put on a show
standing there on the patio
bumfuck Ohio
Selena, on the radio
little gay boy, you’re a star
Freud would have a field day
easy to worry, easy to think you might not…
…make sense
you smiled
you grabbed the camera
so i put on a show
standing there on the patio
bumfuck Ohio
Selena, on the radio
little gay boy, you’re a star
Freud would have a field day
Freud would have a field day
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5. |
Those Sleepless Nights
03:04
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on Thursday
charge as credit ’til they drop the paycheck
at midnight
got my shift in the morning, early start, 5am
prep the pots, pull the shots, try to show you
haven’t got the wisdom to navigate all of the fallout
still haven’t rid myself of the shadow that is you
i promise, baby, i’m trying
to see the bright side of this dark age
i promise, baby, i’m trying
to shut off the brain
to shut off the brain
shut off the brain
off the brain
the brain
to shut off the brain
shut off the brain
off the brain
the brain
on Thursday
charge as credit ’til they drop the paycheck
at midnight
got my shift in the morning, early start, 5am
prep the pots, pull the shots, try to show you
don’t scare yourself to death, Carly Beth
drive away when you’re able
leave them high from the exhaust—
—ion that they left on you
it takes three hours
to get from Chehalis to Bremerton—
by train is the way because
my engine is shot
it’s been a real shit week
where everything happened
and it was so bad it made me think
about you constantly
so hard to focus on the game
with you on my mind
again and again, again and again
again and again, again and again
try to shut of my brain
shut off my brain, shut off my brain
to shut off the brain
shut off the brain
off the brain
the brain
to shut off the brain
shut off the brain
off the brain
the brain
on Thursday
charge as credit ’til they drop the paycheck
at midnight
those sleepless nights all alone with you
those nighttime rides all alone with you
still haven’t caught up to what i’m missing
running on empty, can’t afford no place to go
those sleepless nights all alone with you
ripped away
haven’t got the wisdom to navigate all of the fallout
still haven’t rid myself of the shadow that is you
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6. |
Calm
03:53
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nothing new, especially lately
high volume, transistor throwing sparks
you stand in the rubble
the wires inside your mind
sparks spiraling
the sparkle in your eye
smoke spiraling
falling
—
someone ring the alarm
it feels too calm
so dead calm
what happened to the scents
the sights, the touch, the sounds
all the fucking feels we felt
it feels so calm
dead
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7. |
To Say the Least
05:02
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incredible, to say the least
that you feel i’m nothing
how about you, if you need
tell us what to do
tell us something new
it’s so hard for you
to take on what you do
it breaks my heart
incredible, to say the least
that you can feel like you are nothing
how about you, if you need
tell us what you need
tell us something new
it’s so hard for you
to take on what you do
it breaks my heart
something told me in my youth
go 15ft on the deep end of the pool
they all come out in the morning
so you sleep all day
‘cause your crazy’s in-sync with the sun
where did she go
when she left the hospital?
i’m not sure, i’m not sure
did she cut her strings
and were her strings my veins?
i’m not sure, i’m not sure
in-fucking-tense, to say the least
your brain makes something from nothing
what would i need to do
to show you that it’s all an illusion?
like….
i had a case of cassette tapes
‘…Baby One More Time’, ‘Spiceworld’,
and ‘All the Small Things’
all the small things matter
‘Millennium’ millennium
‘Oops! I Did It Again’, did it again
‘On the 6’, ‘Come on Over’
now i’m twentysomething
with vermouth at the club
and on the diving board growing old
reflecting on my youth
you know they say
if you go deep
then you’re cool
well, i’ll say
that it’s a lie
they all come out in the morning
so you sleep all day
‘cause your crazy’s in-sync with the sun
did she cut her strings
and were the strings your veins?
where did she go
when she left the hospital?
i’m not sure, i’m not sure
i’m not sure, i’m not sure
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8. |
Normalcy Bias
02:31
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Mickey Mouse magnet
across the TV screen
leaving rainbow streams of oil
in a parking lot puddle
that’s how she fell
in from Atlantis
pink robe over a flying buttress
she’ll name all the precious
and she’ll smite the rest
fuzzy little analog dream
are you even gonna go ask Alice this time?
arms spread out
like Kate Winslet
wildfire hair
millennial jesus
big screen to fuzzy little analog dream
that’s how she rose from the dead
tingling while flying through into infinite jest
she’ll make all her own decisions
she’ll wipe the diamonds from her own mind
are you even gonna go ask Alice this time?
Mickey Mouse magnet
across the TV screen
leaving rainbow streams of oil
in a parking lot puddle
that’s how she rose from the dead
tingling while flying into infinite jest
she’ll make all her own decisions
and she’ll wipe the diamonds clear from her mind
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9. |
My Man
04:42
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my man, body to water
my man, alchemy with candlelight
buzzing hours later
my man, pretty much the perfect guy
off to bed, head off the bed
as above so below, upside down
you kiss me though, my man
you take me in your arms
macchiato microfoam on your lip
rarely ever see it now, could we talk my man?
oh, keep me here with all of my prescriptions
crying, losing my temper and my patience
‘i’m not a crier’
that’s what you said…
my man, body to water
my man, alchemy with candlelight
buzzing hours later
my man, pretty much the perfect guy
off to bed, head off the bed
as above so below, upside down
you kiss me though, my man
you take me in your arms
macchiato microfoam on your lip
rarely ever see it now, could we talk my man?
oh, keep me here with all of my prescriptions
crying, losing my temper and my patience
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10. |
Hospitals
04:04
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you and me
we grew up on Winnie the Pooh
you don’t have to wish i was there when you know i cared
you hold your own and you know i love
make sure you jump high
but make sure you hear it right
all of the ways i say that i love the way you make me feel
never comes out quite as deep as i mean for it to
simpleton, i’m not, simpleton, i’m not i thought
but i can’t formulate the right poetry to say
that you are my heart, you are my life
i took a video of us on the boardwalk
even though we never went there together
so damn easy when you’re creative
to formulate a narrative but you know you know
and fiction is fiction, so which story are you in?
check out the sound, all of the fog, might as well…
all of the ways i say that i love the way you make me feel
never comes out quite as deep as i mean for it to
simpleton, i’m not, simpleton, i’m not i thought
but i can’t formulate the right poetry to say
that you are my heart, you are my life
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11. |
This Too Shall Pass
00:38
|
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all of the ways i say that i love the way you make me feel
never comes out quite as deep as i mean for it to
simpleton, i’m not, simpleton, i’m not i thought
but i can’t formulate the right poetry to say
that you are my heart, you are my life
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