we flew once, we drove the next we’re settled and, i can’t say i regret it yet i do, too, a mixed signal wanna go back, but don’t due of all my pitfalls i know it’s not easy, to put fault on me god knew that i can lay myself out throw out my back, go back to work soulless and selfish, deluded and broken and aimless, and gorgeous the same crash course that i walk through years ago, waiting for the same old big nothing i am, i am, i am, i am you once spiritual, thus ignorant and you choose, what you know formed by the above god is the witness, i was in your shoes, yes i was i was in the shoes on the telephone poles and the only thing i know, is exactly what you don’t it always takes me, more than a few years staring in my rearview mirror white noise fades away objects become clear, the closer they get photos under chemical in a dark room soulless and selfish, deluded and broken and aimless, and gorgeous the same crash course that i walk through years ago, waiting for the same old big nothing i am, i am, i am, i am you texted me, and i texted back haven’t heard from him in a long time took a year before i saw my message was unsent thinking he thinks i forget seems communication’s never been a strong point for me even though i express myself, under the mask of auteur there’s mountains, there’s evergreen calling out my name i shared with my dad like these sidewalks, that he walked how did i cycle it all back in a poem so unintentional getting lost, in digital chessboards for about a year now, so many scholars mates used to drive me crazy, until i made peace with the way the other souls float by not everybody, can be the same how else could we, join our hands (harper, angel) soulless and selfish, deluded and broken and aimless, and gorgeous the same crash course that i walk through years ago, waiting for the same old big nothing (crowning achievement is wrapped in those kindergarten ‘i am’ poems) i am, i am, i am, i am you (‘i am’ poems) i got a buzz in how the words fall so has the years went so slowly by in the blink of an eye, anything in my mind’s eye people around me, inside me, remakes of other stories things that really upset the wavelength searching constantly for that red door with a sidewalk of marbled chessboard slower, faster, no control why do we take over such a cannonball when it doesn’t have a flame that can be sparkless i’m too busy stimming projector full of images i’m firing constantly (stimming) chaotic in the eye of the storm ... years ago, waiting for the same old big nothing (i could really be nothing) i am, i am, i am, i am you (crashing like Cronenberg) i am, i am, i am, i am a creator (big nothing) i am , i am, i am, i am a hyperlinked ego i am, i am, i am, i am nothing like you i am, i am, i am, i am nothing like you i am, i am, i am i am, i am, i am now you know what its like to plug your mode, and realize you are also so... soulless and selfish, deluded and broken and aimless, and gorgeous the same crash course that i walk through years ago, waiting for the same old big nothing i am, i am, i am, i am you i am, i am, i am, i am nothing like you i knew when i was a kid, all caught up in, and i’m coming down now coming down from that cloud slowing down now ready to take it easy Carradine, i’m easy Keith Carradine, i’m easy godfuckingdammit, it’s easy godfuckingdammit, it’s easy i am, i